You can now find me blogging at Laura in Lou
Wolf Pack
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“I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack… it grew by one. So there… there were two of us in the wolf pack… I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later.” – The Hangover
Although this comedy usually brings back memories of movie nights in cramped dorm rooms as a college freshman, this particular quote comes to mind now in my newly married life.
Me, my husband, and Catniss
Just about a year ago, my then-boyfriend and I decided to get married, and ever since then it seems like I spent all of 2013 counting down to December 28th, our wedding.
As my previous posts attest, it was a hectic year. I worked two jobs, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to stay long term at either, though both proved to be excellent opportunities for professional and personal growth. I moved from Indianapolis, a city I fell in love with, to my hometown to regroup for a month, and then to the small town where my in-laws live. As the year wore on, I started to count down not just to the wedding, but to the new year and the little ray of light that signaled stability.
One of the things that I’ve prided myself on is my independence. But, interestingly, I’ve found that independence isn’t always the quality that’s needed. Enter my wolfpack.
Life with my new husband has made me realize that I will never have to go through life as a lone wolf. There’s no struggle or success that we haven’t shared throughout our time together, and we’ve just promised each other to take on more. We also have the support of our families, that are now joined together, and our kitten, Catniss, who mostly just provides snuggling.
My husband is also quick to remind me that God is our Shepherd, and while I may run wild with worry & stress sometimes, He’s there to watch over me. One of the best traditions we’ve started in our new household is to pray a rosary every Sunday, in addition to attending Mass and prayer at meals, when I frequently ask for God’s help to guide me to my next opportunity to benefit children, what I still feel is my calling.
This new year in this new city feels like a new start for me, though I’m carrying everything I’ve learned with me. I feel refreshed and ready to take on new adventures, with the knowledge that my wolf pack has my back.
Unwrapping Blessings
Have you ever received a gift that was wrapped so tightly, it was almost exhausting to get to? Layers of paper, tape, string, the occasional box within a box, and who knows what else? Sometimes blessings come to us like this too.
For me, this past year has been a period of transition. Not only that, but it seems there have been periods of transition within periods of transition. In the grand scheme of things, my plans may sound simple: graduate, find a job, and get married. But, when I think about it, in the past year I’ve finished up my bachelor’s degree, been on my second humanitarian trip to Honduras, gotten my first “big girl” job, moved, moved again, gotten another job, planned a wedding…and I still have yet to move a third time, explore my next professional venture and finally say “I do.”
Even though I am working toward my goals in life, I have felt overwhelmed at times. My highly well-organized, multitasking personality has been put into overdrive. Sometimes, at the end of the day, I find that my mind has been wandering to the future with worry or planning, instead of living in the present. One tactic that I’m developing to conquer any stress is to think of what I have gained, and will gain, by accomplishing my goals and moving forward.
First, I’ve been blessed to have a job I love. Even the word “job,” with its sometimes negative connotations of drudgery seems like a misnomer for what I am doing. When I enter the elementary school each morning, my eyes are not on the clock, my mind isn’t on the paycheck, and I am not impatient to get home. I’ve never truly experienced that in any job before. After I’ve ushered the last student onto the bus, I realize that I’ve thrown my entire self into my time with my students. This is when I most live in the present. God has blessed me, and I can only pray that He will bless me again with my next position.
The greatest blessing God has granted me in my life is my future husband. The other day, when my stress and worry had crept in, he reminded me that in our marriage vows we’ll promise to stay with each other in good times, and in bad. We’ve shared plenty of good times in the more than two years we’ve been together, but I’m reminded that we’ve grown even closer during this transition because we’ve worked through the tough times. He’s also had to move, and has worked diligently in his first year of dental school. We’ve both seen a lot of changes, but we chose these changes to build our new life together. While we’ve grown closer to each other, we’ve also further entwined our faith into our relationship, and God has not let us go through these changes alone.
These blessings, among others – my family, my soon-to-be family, my friends, long runs through the beautiful hills, the smiles of students when they’ve read a difficult passage, vanilla soy lattes – are the ones that I’m making a list of. In White Christmas, Bing Crosby sings that we should “count our blessings” to help us fall sleep at night. I want to count my blessings upon waking, throughout the day, and before bed to remind myself that change is a gift, though sometimes you have to tear through the thick layers of wrapping to reveal the beauty.
Educated Decisions (Part Two)
A year ago, I would not have foreseen myself working in the educational system.
Although throughout my life I considered being a teacher, and even spent a few semesters of college playing with the idea of continuing for a masters in secondary education, that was not the path I settled on in my final semester of college, when I was supposed to “have things together.”
Just over a year ago, I met with someone from Teach For America to talk about becoming a corps member. I was intrigued by the mission to provide high-quality education in under-served areas, the fact that I could gain experience in education without having studied it in college, and that many alumni went on to work in the non-profit sector. I decided to attend a “field trip” where I and other interested individuals from around Indiana would visit Teach For America schools in Indianapolis.
The visit was an eye-opener. I saw why Center Township (the area being served in Indy) needed passionate individuals to promote education in the community. However, I was disappointed in the breach that I saw between the TFA teachers and the teachers who had gotten their certification during their post-secondary training. I was concerned that, despite a common goal, this wall would create roadblocks in the system. Additionally, I wasn’t sure I wanted to work with an entire classroom-full of students, only addressing their academic needs. I decided that this would not be the path for me.
My decision was only confirmed by my experience as a tutor in a bilingual immersion school that same fall as part of a service-learning class on immigration. At this IPS school, I worked with first graders as individuals or in small groups. I appreciated that I was better able to target a child’s needs, and to get to know them better than I would if I were teaching to a whole class. I got to talk with the students about their home lives, and my heart ached for every kid whose parents didn’t care about their education, or worse, whose parents weren’t able to live in this country with them. I wanted to help these kids in so many ways beyond what their teachers could do for them in school. So, while I took great joy in inspiring kids to love learning, I thought I needed another way to care for them.
Along the way, I’ve been shown other opportunities to address the needs of children. Of course, in Honduras I’ve seen what just a little love and time can do for a child. Through training as a Girls On The Run coach, I realized that you can inspire a child’s physical and emotional well-being while teaching them important life lessons. And, finally, all my experiences with children have only reaffirmed that I am called to family life someday.
So, after praying for a unique position that would allow me to care for kids’ total well-being, why did God lead me to become an instructional assistant in a public elementary school? As of today, I don’t know the answer. What I do know is that in the past three weeks I have become determined to help my students develop their literacy skills, but also to be a role model to them. I want to be someone that they can respect, and someone who can inspire them to learn everyday, even if it’s something outside my lesson plan. I want them to see the good in the world around them. I see the good, and potential, in the world in them, and am learning from my time with them more than they may be learning from me.
Working For Or With Kids? (Part One)
The thought of taking care of children used to intimidate me. “What are you supposed to do with kids all day, and what do you even talk to them about?” I wondered. Although I contemplated becoming a high school history teacher, it never would have crossed my mind to work with younger children.
Then, two summers ago, I had a couple of experiences that made me do a 180 degree turn. First, I went on my first visit to Honduras. My expectations for that trip were to work hard alongside the local Hondurans; to labor from sunrise to sunset. I didn’t realize we’d be spending much of our time not only for the kids, but with the kids. My friend Lauren, who had been to Nuevo Paraíso before, inspired me by her enthusiasm to play with the kids during every spare minute she could find, or make. As the week progressed, I grew so very attached to the children there, and rarely a day goes by where they don’t cross my mind.
A photo of me & one of the little Honduran wonders, courtesy of a friend.
Second, I began to babysit regularly for a seven-year-old girl upon returning from Honduras. A few times a week I would pick her up from swim lessons and spend the rest of the day with her until her parents came home. I found out that conversation with children actually comes very naturally to me, and we were never bored. We would play school, swim at the pool, host (failed) lemonade stands, go on picnics, and just have a blast. I honestly would have done it for no money, and still enjoy spending time with her and her family to this day.
In the following months, as I entered my junior year of college, I began to seriously reconsider my career path. I thought less about becoming a teacher, and more about finding a way to work with children to address a wider range of needs, one that would allow me to care compassionately and holistically. I also started to think that I wanted a job that felt more like the wonderful volunteer experiences I’d had; the things I did because I loved them, and because they brought good to other people rather than simply money to my bank account.
I believed that the non-profit field would be my best chance to find such an opportunity. Fast forward to early 2013, when I landed my first “big girl” job at Project Lead The Way, a national STEM education non-profit. While I believed in the mission of the organization, and felt very passionate about serving the students, the position there lacked one thing: it did not put me into direct contact with children. My time there was a learning opportunity in many ways, not the least of which was a chance to reevaluate my professional and personal goals, many of which overlap.
While looking for my next job, which I thought would be in Louisville, I was thrown a curve ball and offered my current position at Huntingburg Elementary. It both is and isn’t what I had in mind for my next job; it does let me work directly with kids, in an age group that I love, but it doesn’t meet the idea of the “non-profit” I had in mind, even though it is in the public educational system.
Upon reflection, the path I began down two years ago is nothing like what I imagined, but I am grateful for the experiences God has sent my way, and am intrigued to see what else He has in store for me.
Stay turned for Part Two, where I further explore my surprise at working in a public school.
Hills & Valleys
Unlike where I grew up outside Chicago, southern Indiana has vistas of rolling hills. As a runner, I know that racing downhill is actually more difficult, and more dangerous, than going uphill. Going downhill is frightening; you’re speeding downward, slightly losing control of your body, not quite knowing what to expect once you reach the bottom.
The past few months of my life have felt a lot like running hills.
Back in June, I sat down to make some difficult decisions with my fiance. I knew that in July I was coming to the end of my contract at Project Lead The Way, and that my lease was also going to be up on my house. On top of that, my fiance was to begin at the University of Louisville School of Dentistry. After weighing the pros and cons, and after much prayer, we decided that I would begin my transition from Indianapolis to Louisville mid-July.
When that time arrived, I bid farewell to my co-workers and packed all my belongings in my car. Suddenly, I felt lost. I wasn’t currently working, didn’t have my own place to call home, and wasn’t going to be seeing my fiance as often. (We have chosen not to live together until after we are married in December.)
I started to feel like I was going downhill. Even little things seemed to come along just to try me more, including a hip injury that put me out of running for two months. My stress reliever had become a new source of stress!
Though I kept praying for God to guide me down the path laid out for me, I admit that I was skeptical of what he had in store. I tried to remind myself that I need to trust God not only when he sends blessings, but when he sends trials.
A week ago, I was feeling really down in the dumps. I’d moved in with my fiance’s family to be closer to Louisville, and was hoping to substitute teach in the district while continuing my job search, but I was still having difficulty with God’s direction. Then, last Thursday, I received a call.
The elementary school had seen my information at the district office and wanted to know if I would like a job as a Title I Instructional Assistant for this semester. They told me I would work part-time, Monday through Thursday, with Kindergarten, first grade and second grade students.
Though for a while I haven’t anticipated working in the educational system, I’m incredibly grateful for this opportunity to serve children, a personal and professional goal of mine, and to develop my own skills while still searching for the next step in my career path.
O ye of little faith! God answered my prayers just in time. Before tumbling down into the valley, He lifted me to crest the next hill.
As all runners know, the only way to get stronger at navigating hills is to run them.
My Faith in My Professional Development
When I first began my job at PLTW, I told my supervisor that I desired to develop professionally from my experience, something that is continually encouraged within the organization.
Now, a few months later, I’ve been able to reflect on the ways in which I have developed. First, on a basic level, I have learned about the company, our mission, and the everyday tasks carried out in my position. Although we constantly work as a team, I don’t need to run to my co-workers to learn the answers to callers’ questions as often. Others have even commented that I sound much more confident when communicating with the network than I did a few short months ago. This leads me to a second way that I have developed in my time at PLTW: in my communication and interpersonal skills.
While I have always been proud of my ability to work with others, working in a customer-service position within the organization has given me a new appreciation for this type of communication. It is here that I believe God has inspired my growth.
About a month ago, we experienced a high volume of communication with our network regarding all sorts of topics, including some of our much-anticipated initiatives. (Remember, people don’t always like change.) Quite honestly, my job got to be stressful at times. I felt that I was on the phone for eight hours a day, while watching the Outlook inbox grow exponentially. However, after a day or two of feeling anxious, I learned to treat each communication individually, without worrying about the next. I feel that I served our network better when I took the time to concentrate on my conversation with an individual, rather than try to answer their questions as quickly as possible before moving onto the next. I began to think about how the quality of each interaction mattered, and how that affected the overall quality of my work.
After some time, I realized how much my faith had impacted how I handled these situations. I begin each day with prayer, and very often ask God to grant me patience and compassion when dealing with even the most harried individuals. A particular reflection during this time that stands out to me is this one:
Thank you for guiding me through a good week at work. Thank you for the people that show your qualities, and thank you for giving me your qualities to deal with those people who need attention. I hope I can open my heart, even in a small way, to those who are upset.
I remember that day I had some particularly difficult calls, and upon driving home from the office I realized how a little bit of kindness can go a long way. Being able to truly, actively listen to people is something they appreciate. It’s something they notice and may even thank you for. I believe I have God to thank for giving me a compassionate heart, a quality that has impacted my development both personally and professionally. I hope these skills of confidence and kindness are ones that I will continue to develop throughout my life.
Finding God in a New Environment
I’ve been with my new job for two months now. I have gotten comfortable with my position and have settled into the rhythm of my work. I have spent a great deal of time training, but, being fresh out of college, I continue to learn pretty fast (which is good, because as part of our commitment to continuous improvement, there are many exciting changes occurring in the next few months.) I’ve gotten feedback from my supervisors about what I have shown talent for, as well as areas in which I’m striving for further professional development.
While I believe I am finding my place within the organization, there is one thing I continue to search for: where is my faith in my work? How does God play a part in my daily tasks?
Knowing God was in my work was much clearer during my time at Benedict Inn. For one, we shared a common faith. Each morning, we prayed that God’s will would be done. Second, it was easy to be open about how God’s will was being accomplished around us and through the individuals with whom we interacted.
Working for an organization that is not religiously-based changes the dynamics. While I do feel comfortable expressing my commitment to my faith, faith is not a central, or unifying, drive within the office. I don’t get the opportunity to pray with my co-workers each morning, and there are no Bible verses painted on our walls.
However, being part of a secular organization doesn’t mean that God’s will isn’t being done. The individuals with whom I work are passionate about promoting innovative education for future generations. I watch them strive daily to give their best effort to serve our network. My own team members will even pitch in on their days off, if they are needed. These are people who aim to make a positive impact on the lives of children, and our nation as a whole, by promoting educational opportunities.
On a personal level, I have found how I connect with God’s will by praying about the purpose of my work. On a given day, I communicate with anywhere from 50-100 people via email and phone, helping them get the answers they need. It’s wonderful to talk with teachers and administrators who have an enormous passion for their students. However, not all people are cheerful when they contact us. I believe my purpose here is to serve them by being positive, welcoming and compassionate. Each time I can better the day of someone who has called in confused, frustrated or angry, I have learned to thank God for giving me that opportunity.
Just this past week, our CEO called my team, as well as other members of Operations, into his office. We were told that everywhere he goes, he hears great things about the work of School Support. The fact that people praise this work is notable, because, as he says, people are quick to express their dissatisfaction but are not as vocal when things are going well. He let us know that we present a positive face across the country and play an important role in the organization’s mission.
So, although God may not appear in my workplace through daily prayer or crucifixes hanging on the wall, He is there nonetheless. Seeing Him in a secular environment has taken a different effort on my part, but I am up for the challenge. So far, I have learned that He is there to help me serve others the best way I can through the passion and gifts with which He has graced me.
Leading the Way (Part Two)
Yesterday on the way out of the office a senior member of Operations, the team in which I work at Project Lead the Way, asked, “So, Laura, do you like us enough to come back in on Monday?”
I can only answer with a sincere Yes. Although I’ve only been with PLTW for two weeks, I have begun to truly value what the organization has to offer. Initially, I was impressed by the mission to deliver high-quality, hands-on education to students all across the nation. Having the opportunity to read through some of the curricular programs myself, I am amazed at what these children are learning, and intrigued by how they will shape the world’s future. In my daily routine as a School Support Representative, whose main duties are to support the needs of the network, I encounter much positive and inspiring feedback about the program.
However, having had such a unique experience at Benedict Inn, I know that there is so much more that goes into a job than the tasks it requires. From the Sisters of St. Benedict, I learned about hospitality and how it applies to the workplace. I had hoped that I could bring this to my new position, but was pleased to find it waiting for me there as well. Imagine an office where the CEO checks to see how you are doing every day, where the CFO tells you his door is open to you any time you need something, and where the COO brings in cookies & cream brownies to share on a Wednesday. That’s where I have found myself.
Although the organization is not large, and almost half the staff works remotely, it is close-knit. This is highly beneficial to the mission, because cooperation is everywhere, and communication is easy. No one ever hesitates to ask for help from those who are more expert in the matter. There is so much for each employee to learn from one another. I believe this is one reason that PLTW was recently named one of the best places to work in Indiana.
Hospitality goes a long way. It is important in the workplace, and invaluable when working with a diverse network of government leaders, district administrators and teachers from across the nation. It is only one point of professional growth that I see happening among the employees at PLTW. I’m eager to see where else I can grow, and am reminded of the Circle K International Pledge that I have become so fond of:
“I pledge to uphold the Objects of Circle K International, to foster compassion and goodwill toward others through service and leadership, to develop my abilities and the abilities of all people, and to dedicate myself to the realization of mankind’s potential.”
I’m excited and grateful to be beginning a career of serving others at Project Lead the Way and look forward to all that I can accomplish and all that I can learn.
Leading the Way (Part One)
A few weeks ago I was frantically trying to “figure out” my future. After getting back from Honduras, I became very anxious about moving into this next stage in my career.
I recall one Monday in particular when I spent a good deal of time feeling bad about not having secured a job yet (although I’d graduated less than two months earlier.) I wanted to be a productive member of the workforce and society, and sitting at home writing cover letters did not immediately fulfill that desire. Deep down, I knew that though God’s timeline doesn’t always match up with mine, He did have something in mind for me. However, I couldn’t help but feel frustrated with myself and the process.
Needless to say, God answered my prayers just in time. The following day I was contacted about a potential position. It wasn’t a position I had sought out, not one I had inquired about in the countless cover letters I’d written, but I was instantly intrigued by the idea of working for a non-profit invested in the education of young adults. For those who have read my previous blog posts, you will understand that this seemed almost tailored to my interests.
The week passed in a whirlwind as I met with a recruiter, went through a phone interview, and was called in to meet with a panel. As much time as I had spent whining to God about bumming around the house, that’s how little time He gave me before diving head-first. I was offered the position the very same day.
Now, I am so excited to be in my second week working with Project Lead the Way, a non-profit that provides innovative and interactive STEM curricular programs to middle- and high schools across the nation. God graced me with an answer to my prayers, leading the way to employment with a non-profit whose mission I am passionate about. I can only trust that He’ll continue to walk with me down this path.
Part Two coming soon!
